Tag Archives: social media retardation

Dick Moves of Social Media

As an amusing start to your Friday, I share with you the Dick Move video:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Sq2qhXabY[/youtube]

I especially like the “All Foam” and “Toyota Echo” bits.  Masterful.  So how does this apply to writing you ask?  Maybe not so much to writing, but to that ubiquitous animal called social media marketing.  If you are involved in SEO at all, you are familiar with the practice of commenting on blogs and other various interactions in the digital world.  Here are some social media “Dick Moves”:

1.  Inappropriate Blog Comments

“Wow!  Love your blog on actuary investments in long term hedge fund vehicles.  Read five words of it and it changed my life.  No really.  Visit russianporn.org.com for smokin’ hot babes and free drugs.”  Yeah.  Because that is relevant.  If you are going to pigeon poop on other blogs, make sure that you at least read them and that they are somewhat relevant to your niche.  Otherwise your comments are liable to get zapped faster than you can say “Dick Move”.

2.  Zapping Everyone On Your Facebook Friends List

If you go all network marketing zongo nuts and decide to e-mail everyone on your Facebook friends list with this GREAT OPPURTUNITY you heard about, you are very likely going to end up sans a few Evites in your immediate future.  Make a fake account like the rest of us and use it for odd sex requests and social media marketing.  You’re welcome.  Dick.

3.  Contribute Absolutely Nothing In Forums

Just one step below pigeon dropping your links on blogs is doing the same on forums.  Many people now avoid forums because of these spam techniques used by – well – spammers.  If you haven’t been hanging out on the forum for a good month, coming in and dropping your link will get you banned.  Dick.

Any other dick moves?  Post them in the comments.  Links will be zonked but you can have fun trying.